Before starting my first hike I penned this cryptic email to my girlfriend: “Costa Rica is incredibly beautiful. The scenery descends upon you until you realize it’s not scenery at all. Its very real and you are part of it. This is not one of those experiences that most travelers have because they view everything around them as an experience and of themselves as unique bodies moving through it. This trip, for me, will be different, I hope.”
The hike started out pretty well. I left the hotel this morning at 6am, walked down some familiar roads and then it was off into the unknown. The road quickly turned to dirt, which suited me because there would be less traffic, and then meandered for about 5km. Along the way, I saw three other guys walking, two of which had small parrots on their shoulders! I was making sure to stop and take pictures of anything cool or interesting. After 5km, the road crossed a river and then went straight up. I began struggling but then realized I wasn’t speed racer. Slowed down. Set a pace and kept it for awhile. I noticed that a coven of grandmas was overtaking me so I pretended to stop for a light breakfast to save face. As they passed, one of them asked if I was having coffee too (with my breakfast). I told her “it is tomorrow” in Spanish, which doesn’t make any sense. Got up and continued up the hill until I got to El Rodeo, the proximo barrio. At this point, I’ve walked 8km.
I get to El Rodeo and size it up. No paved roads, one super mercado and a little ice cream shop. I continue on and pass by a homeopathic(?) university and then a mineral springs park on my way out of town. The road winds all over the place, goes up and down, left, right…
At this point, I should let you know that there was a difference between the offline map (Maps.ME) I was using and Google Maps. Google maps are better, but I don’t have data so they don’t refresh. The offline map did not show a road between El Rodeo and Piedras Negras, the next town. Google promised it was there so I trusted Google, and, by Gawd, there was a road leaving town, and I was on it.
So, I was a little confused when I came to a sign that read “Calle Sin Salido No Pase,” which means No Exit, No Passing. I figured, well shit, that’s probably why it’s not on the online version, and kept on going. As I’m walking I notice that I’m making a deep descent, possibly into madness. And the madness I’m referring to is the hell I’ll have to pay getting out of this hole if the road doesn’t pan out. The road looks passable. There are tire marks in the mud. Good Sign, says I. There are houses along the way. Holy shit, this is the best fucking short cut ever!
Then, after passing the entrance to Finca El Tigre (Tiger Ranch), the road literally evaporates into Green grass. Ok, so maybe this road is merely a path that leads to the next town. The other side of the green grass does look like a very old trail. So, I keep going.
The trail plunges down again and I realize I’m entering my second descent into madness. I keep on going and notice that there’s a little water going down the middle of the road, instead of the side. The dirt road turns into rock road. I begin to notice that I’m not taking any more pictures. The rock is so slippery and steep and I have to slide on my ass to get down sometimes. This is when I realize that the path looks a lot like an empty creek bed and the smooth rocks without any silt on them seems indicative of flash flooding! Holy shit, what’s the fucking time?! Its 9am. Okay, that’s good, it doesn’t start raining here until 2, usually.
I open google maps on my phone, which was cached for some reason, and realize that I’m definitely on the wrong path. There are two roads that leave town and I was on the wrong one. FUCK!!!
I sit and smoke a cigarette so that my lungs can commiserate with my brain, and then start the long walk out. Walking up is definitely less treacherous than walking down the smooth rocks. Plus, I get to lean over so there is less weight on my shoulders. What a relief! Making the best out of a bad situation must be a human trait. Going up, it dawns on me that there’s no way I can complete the journey completely on foot. So, my new plan of action when I get back to El Rodeo is to get some food and water at the super market, take a breather, regroup and figure out my next steps.
Going back up those hills was torture. You never understand exactly how steep they are until you are looking up at them. I wasn’t depressed though. I mean, this is the experience I wanted, right? Certainly, something like this would happen eventually. Better sooner than later; I’m learning so much on this trip, I told myself.
I get back to town, buy some food and then sit on a rock to rest. I took off my long sleeve shirt (still wearing a tshirt, I’m not a barbarian) and realize that both are completely soaked through with sweat! As I’m eating, my thought process goes something like this: it’s only a little farther to Piedras Negras than back to Cuidad Colon. I know there were some big hills both up and down the previous trek, plus the road to Piedras Negras goes toward and eventually follows the river. Which means??? Yep, that it’s probably down hill. Plus, it will be new terrain and I’ll get to enjoy some new sights. And, since I’ll be mostly going downhill, I can focus more on the surroundings. So, the new plan is to go to Piedras Negras and get a cab to the hotel. I’m patting myself on the back for being so smart right now.
I get on the road, the right road this time, and it is absolutely gorgeous. Things are going to plan, all down hill. There are water falls coming off the side of the road. There’s a huge, absolutely gorgeous river down below that’s in a red and white rock-faced canyon. There are humming birds everywhere. It was remote. In fact, on the entire road I only saw four cars. The only thing is that I thought the road would be paved. Not a big deal, I tell myself, it’ll probably turn to asphalt when I get closer to Piedras Negras.
I’m walking and walking. It’s about 9km. When I get to the turn off to go into town, the road is still unpaved. Shit, is this scrappy little town going to even have taxi service? Well, it’s only about 10km to the next, noticeably larger town, Turrucares (pronounced Tu-are-ca-rez). My last walk was so nice and I feel so good, I might as well keep on going. It’s about 12:30.
I should mention that I’m a bit brain-addled at this point. I’m not thinking clearly, and I begin my descent into my third bout of potential madness. Everything is cool at first, but then, my feet and ankles begin to tighten up. I haven’t had enough calories, or enough experience with this much weight to maintain this hike. I get to the river, the one I saw earlier, begin to cross and then realized my big mistake. On the other side of the river, the road feverishly winds upward.
There is no fucking way I can make it to Turrucares. I’m spent. I’m getting clammy, even though it’s blisteringly hot outside. My second big mistake is not realizing that there’s no way I could have made it to Turrucares before the rains begin at 2pm, more or less. My third mistake is using my naive intuition instead of calling the hotel concierge at my last hotel to ASK about whether or not I could get a cab in Piedras Negras.
As all this is sinking in, as I begin to wonder whether or not I could have made this hike if I had not made those two big mistakes earlier that soaked up valuable energy and time, the sky begins to darken and thunder begins to dance between the valley walls. Shit, this is not looking good. I call the concierge. Sure enough there are cabs in Piedras Negras. And no, a cab won’t come and pick me up just north of the river that crosses 136. They need an address.
My only two options are to walk back to Piedras Negras or hitch hike to Turrucares. I think I’ll try my hand, pun intended, at hitchhiking. The only problem is that no one will stop on the spot on the road I’m standing on now because the grade is too steep to stop. I walk a little higher. Still, no one is stopping. Then, there are no cars coming in either direction for awhile. Hmmm, maybe I should walk back towards Piedras Negras, just in case.
I start walking back, down the hill, across the river. Shit, I think to myself, this is steep. I’m definitely very low on juice. I’m trudging up the hill and almost collapse because I need a break. I’ll just wait here and practically force the next car to pick me up, going either way. I hear an engine in the distance. My hopes begin to rise and then a motorcycle turns the corner. My hopes are dashed and I start to feel a sense of depression, and desperation, seeping in.
To change the subject, in my own mind at least, I rummage through my backpack for Clif bar, find one and begin eating it. When I’m about half way through, I see a truck coming down the hill. I tuck the Clif bar into my back pocket, stand up and thrust out my thumb with steely resolve and perseverance. The depression is gone. The desperation is gone. I’m fully expecting that he’ll gauge my situation and help me out. He reluctantly comes to a stop and asks me where I’m going.”Tuccu-cara” I reply. He looks at me like that place doesn’t exist. And I say viente-siete (HWY 27). He still doesn’t get it. I’m beginning to learn that the road names in Google maps are different than the names the locals use. He says he’s going to “Tu-are-ca-rez”. Buenos, I say. He tells me “detras” and I open up the back door. He reiterates detras and points to the bed of the pickup. I hop in the back, happily, and the truck begins to move.
I can’t explain the feeling I got from getting that ride. I mean, I would have given $100 to get out of that valley and then someone comes along and completely saves my ass for free. On that ride out of the valley I was suddenly struck by something very profound, at least to me. Money can’t buy you happiness. Happiness comes from the kindness of strangers along your journey through life. Money is just paper to those that already have everything they need. And, in my situation in that valley, kindness was the only thing that was going to save my ass.
As the truck was weaving its way up the hill side, I realized how lucky I was. I was incredibly happy that someone had stopped to help. Upon reaching Turrucares the driver honked his horn and I got out. Before I could show my gratitude or offer him some money, he sped off and was gone. I walked into the nearest restaurant and ordered the first thing I saw on the menu, a pepperoni pizza. I sat down and enjoyed the shit out of that pizza. Probably the best damn pizza I’ve ever had in my life.
